Ok, so as you may imagine, not a lot of news this month, or these months rather. The state of play at the moment is that I’m back at work full time, though office duties only. So let’s catch up then.

Following the diagnosis from the consultant, I was ordered to spend nearly two months housebound. I had to do this penance if I wanted to get away without having an operation on my knee and shoulder. "No worries! I'm a lazy bastard, I can do that!" Well that's what I thought at first anyway. And at first it was all good clean fun. I managed to get quite a few things done which didn't involve leaving the house, most notably getting my second symphony finished, knocking up a website for Janet’s jewellery (go and buy some, it's all rather excellent,) , and getting my first book published (UK edition here. US Edition here.) After they were done, I was  a bit stumped. I'd heard far more than enough of my own music for one lifetime, I didn't have any inspiration to write, and no one wanted a website knocked up. What the fuck do I do now?

Fortunately not long after we had the two Japanese students come to stay. Or rather, we didn’t.

Due to factors unknown, their flight was postponed, and they ended up coming a day later than planned. I felt a bit sorry for them, missing a whole day and a half out of what was only a a week-long trip was a bit unfortunate to say the least. However it did give us an extra day to tidy up, which was most welcomed.

But they eventually arrived, and we got to meet Saya and Yuriko. (Yes boys, young Saya is drop dead cute.)

Yuriko                                  Bethy                                       Saya

I must have taken about 200 photos of these girls while they were here. Do you think I could get one without them doing that bloody "peace" thing with their fingers? 

We were led to believe that these two were amongst the better English speakers in the group. If they were they certainly didn’t show off about it, and we hardly got two words out of them the whole time they were with us. I must say though that Bethy’s ability in Japanese is astounding, we knew she was good, but to hear her converse in Japanese was pretty bloody mindblowing. Saya and Yuriko are very pleasant kids though, very polite and well mannered. They brought us some lovely traditional Japanese gifts, which were very much welcomed. One of their grandparents had made us some traditional Japanese dolls, which were lovely. They spent all day at Bethy’s school, then in the evenings were shown around Canberra by Bethy and Lee-Anne. I had to miss out on this fun due to not being able to get about still. I did manage to get out to the 10 pin bowling rink with them one night, and regretted this for four days afterwards. One of the funniest things, though I know I shouldn’t laugh, was watching them both struggle with Western cutlery. But to be fair they both persevered.

They were night owls however, which presented a few difficulties. We’re not. Normally we’re in bed 9.30 to 10.00 pm at the latest. Midnight was an early night for these two. We didn’t want to seem rude by leaving them and going to bed early, they didn’t want to seem rude and keep us awake at night. It all worked out ok in the end.

 One night we took them out to a restaurant, the Green Herring, though not just to watch them fumble their meals. Unfortunately this turned out to be a dud. Here’s the write up I put on “Tripadvisor”.

We took family and two Japanese friends to this restaurant. We had been looking forward to this for some time, and having our Japanese guests gave us an excuse to go, we were very disappointed however. Despite being housed in a lovely old building, old for Canberra that is, the setting is not good, being located on the awful Gold Creek tawdry enterprise estate. The staff were friendly, the service good. The meals however were not.

First complaint, the menus were spiral bound and cheap looking, way out of character for the place. There were no recommended wines for the meals. The wine list was distinctly average.

Set prices for each course is not a good idea, the meals should be priced individually. Being a vegetarian I have the vege options for entrée and mains. The entrée was a slice of onion tart, with a salad, not bad at all. The main was one of the worse risottos I have ever had. Stodgy, over cooked, lacking in flavour, with little or no attempt to make it interesting in any way. The meat courses seemed to consist of large chunks of meat in sauce. My wife's fish dish was over salted. I will give them the fact that the serves were large, but too large if anything. The deserts were nothing to write home about. The cheese board had very little variety on it, all soft cheeses, with one blue, no hard cheese to give contract.

A very poor dining experience for the high prices charged. If you are looking to treat yourself or friends, try The Ginger Room or Courgette instead.

So fuck em.

 

One night I caught the girls just as they arrived back from a trip out, and hustled them down to the paddocks behind the house. In the middle of the paddocks some Roos were boxing. I've only ever seen this once myself before, so I was happy they got to see some real Australiana. Bethy shot the clip below. But the light was fading, and so they really didn’t get to see the Roos properly.

The last morning they were here I managed to pluck up enough inertia to take them to the local nature reserve, and for them to get to see Roos close up. Our luck was with us, and the top of the pinnacle had LOADS of bloody Roos on it, about 150 of the buggers was my guess.

 

We were really sad to see them go. They were heading for the Blue Mountains for a day trip before heading back. The forecast for the Blue Mountains was for storms.

 

So what else then?

Oh the workers compensation people wrote back to me following our claim for compo off them. Their reply? Basically; “Get stuffed”. Their reason; “You didn’t ask your manger’s permission to deliver these letters on the way home. So you were acting outside of your permitted work remit.” Or, as I took it;  “We’ve found a way to screw you over, and not pay out,” which would be a more accurate way of putting it. I mean to say, do you/would you need to seek permission off your manager to pop two letters in the post box on your way home? I'd have to ask her for permission each time I wanted to go for a crap if that were the case, as our toilets are in the next building. Bastards! So we’ve seen a solicitor. He’s told us we’re better off going to screw the taxi driver’s insurers for the whole lot, and has taken us on on a “No win/no fee” basis.

On the good side though, the insurance company have agreed to pay out in full for the bike, my leathers and my helmet.  Funnily enough the claim is being dealt with by two departments of Zurich Insurers, the “third party claims” department has agreed that my bike smash was solely the responsibility of the taxi driver, (the silly sod admitted so to the cops,) so I wonder how the “personal injury” department are going to claim otherwise?

The lawyer is seeking compo off them for anything and everything, up to and including lost wages, pain and suffering, inability to do normal house hold cleaning duties, and inability to have normal sexual relationships. Hey, don't laugh, that's not nice, I was enjoying the break! We’re back at it like bunnies now, but don't tell the insurance company that.  I’m hoping he gets us a shedful of cash back, or at least enough cover the costs of treatment. It’s not bloody cheap over here. Every time I see my GP it’s $70 a go! It’s $90 every time I see my Physio too. I saw him today for a final session, it’s been great. But I’m going back to “Foot and Thai” for my therapy from now on. It’s cheaper, lasts longer, treats (almost)  my whole body, and I get done by a pretty Thai girl, with a sauna thrown in gratis. No contest.

 If it works out the way the solicitor sold it to us,  the insurance claim may pay out enough to cover our flights to the UK. Sorted!

 

After six weeks at home, I went to my specialist to see how he thought things were going. He…" hmm'd"… and…"haaa’d"…. and looked at my X-rays and MRI’s, and told me he wanted me to have another four weeks off work. (I'm also banned from climbing until at least the New Year, bummer.)

I of course, whinged like a little whiney thing, as I was bored shitless being at home, not being able to do things at all, not even walk the dogs. I must have given him enough grief as the doctor agreed that I could go back to work on; "light desk duties only," and that I could start driving again. Hooray! I thought. Until I actually sat behind the wheel of our car, and tried driving home. Doing this made my knee feel like it was full of hot coals and my shoulder creak and ache like a bitch.

So me and Lee-Anne went to see my GP to get a chit for me to go back to work. I told her that the specialist wanted me off for another four weeks, but was willing for me to go back on light duties.   Lee-Anne wasted no time in grassing me up as unable to drive without pain. So my GP, being a woman, and female solidarity being what it is, paid no attention to me, and lots to Lee-Anne. She  duly allowed me to go back to work, with certain provisos, but in large letters wrote  "NO DRIVING" on my sick cert. I had thought work might let me take home one of the automatics they have. Lee-Anne had something to say on this matter; “No chance sunshine. No driving means NO DRIVING!!”

 

Lee-Anne, smirking,  figured out bus routes into work for me. She also bought me a bus pass, and sent me off to work with my pass knotted into a hanky so I didn’t lose it.

I am now officially a "Bus Wanker”.

 

And I'm rather enjoying it, surprisingly. I have to take two busses, one into the city and one to my place of work, so my commute times have gone from 13-15 mins on the bike or 20 mins in the car, to 40-45 mins on the bus. But, I can read a book or magazine on the bus, there's no parking fees, and no wear and tear on the bike/car, and it's cheap as chips.

It's quite a zen experience.

My walking distances are 150 yards to the bus stop, and 50 yards into work from the depot. I was paying $6.00 parking for the car, and my bus ride is a flat rate $2.20 each way. (Lee-Anne  gets off even better, one bus each way, a shorter walk, and the bus costs her the same flat rate, $2.20 each way, as opposed to  parking in the city at $13.00 a day!) But I'm actually enjoying being a bus wanker. One morning, one of my busses was crammed packed, so I ended up standing. A very nice Chinese chap offered me his seat, as he could see I was using my walking stick, I declined but it was very good of him. A couple of stops further on I got a seat in any case. Restores your faith etc…

 

Oh, while I’m on the subject of GP’s, it would appear that my time convalescing has been great for the health of my knee and shoulder, but not so much for the rest of me. I had to have a routine bloods done the other day, and, as Dr Mac, my GP informed me; “Your cholesterol’s through the roof again, your liver function doesn’t, and you’ve got the lowest vitamin D level I’ve seen in a living person. Some of my 90 year olds have better readings than you do.”

Well ok, I’ve been housebound for 2 ½ months, I haven’t been to the gym at all, I’ve not walked the dogs an inch, and I’ve taken great mounts of solace in great amounts of wine and cheese, what do you expect? So it’s back to the old routine now, ultra low fat diet, massive amounts of fish oil, hitting the gym five or more mornings a week, walking the hounds, and …gulp… no booze for a few months. Some people will be glad I’m off the booze, as it means they won’t be getting my traditional; “It’s Sunday night, I’m aresholed, I think I’ll ring the UK” calls.

As compensation for missing my calls, they may be, just maybe,  be pleased to know our plans for being back in the UK are coming on apace, and they may get to see us in a few months. Thinking about it though; I always have a few months of abstinence and healthy eating before coming back, mainly as a way of pre-empting the food and booze binges I have while there. It’s just that this one is starting four months out. I may not survive it.

Talking of my late night pissed phone calls, I’ve been canvassing opinion on the Symphony No. 2 “The Dartmoor Suite,” and surprisingly the feedback has been good. Comments have ranged from; “Very melancholy and haunting,” through; "Serious stuff Thomas,"’ and; “Impressive achievement for a wanker like you,” onto; “Not my cuppa, but very well done,” and; “You didn’t do this did you? Come on admit it! You ripped it off the net or something?”  But the amazing thing is, and if you know my mates you’ll know why this is truly amazing, not one person has said; “It’s shite,” not even Nicol. Which has pleased me no end.

I got great tips and advice from my favourite jazz musician, Wynn, and some hints from people that they would not be averse to hearing some more. Which is good, as, taking into account what people have said, I’ve completely rethunk Symphony No 3. It’s now going to be less “heavy orchestral”, and more “electronic ambient,” (think of  a cross between Ludvico Enaudi/Alan Stivell/The Orb and Brian Eno, then forget about it and think; “More fucking noise from Taff"). It’ll be out in about 3 years time.

 

The book, yes well nothing actually great there. What I did was rewrote all my old flying stories, corrected the errors etc, and bumped them out to a more substantial offering, and stuck them on “Amazon for Kindle” self publishing.  Funnily enough, for one week they were at number one in the US and UK, in the category Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Sports > Miscellaneous > Air Sports & Recreation

I’m hoping to sell enough copies to buy a pint.

A half would do.

 

 

So, living in the Australian capital as we do and all that, we often get protests, demonstrations, and large gatherings of people all with various issues and grudges to express. One downside of living in Canberra is that the rest of the country seems to think that every bugger living in the capital is one of those despised politicians, bureaucrats or civil servants they see on the news, normally increasing our taxes or fiddling their expenses, or being caught up a ladyboy or the like. Nearly all  of us are, but that’s no need to be mean. Most of the time these events/protests are harmless enough, and some prove to be entertaining even. I try to go along to any that may prove fun, or are likely to result in fists being thrown. But recently we had warning of one  which was threatening to be huge, and hugely disruptive, but turned out to be ….well read on… 

 

It all started with this notification on the local discussion forum.

My husband works for Harden Shire Council and was advised by the RTA that a very large convoy of trucks will be converging on Canberra on Monday 22 August for a blockade.  He suggested I might pass this information on to you. The trucks are coming from as far afield as Perth, Adelaide, Mt Isa and other points in between.  At this stage the RTA do not know how many trucks will be involved but it is intended to be a blockade through the main streets of Canberra, converging on Parliament House.  We will be having one convoy staying overnight in Harden – probably double Harden’s population! 

A huge convoy with the express intent of causing disruption? Oh my word. Checking the website of this demonstration, we learned that it was calling itself the “Convoy of no confidence”, and was made up of rural people from all over Australia, coming to Canberra in the hope of forcing an election, ending the proposed “Carbon tax” plans, continuing the "live export trade,” removing "Satan’s influence from Parliament”, and generally providing a soapbox for every right-wing nutbag conspiracy theorist. It appeared to be a huge thing, people driving thousands of miles from all over Aus in big rigs to shut down the capital, and bugger us poor sods who live here. Get this; people were coming from Port Hedland! The Distance between Port Hedland and Canberra is 4326 kilometres or 2999 miles, this was going to be serious!2433.84 miles or  

 The guy leading it claimed;

I’m receiving from phone calls all over Australia tells me this event will be massive, I believe this convoy will enter the history books as the biggest people protest of all time, as such the board tonight agreed to keep a register of those people participating as a historical record that will be available in the future. (Mick Pattel)

Then the local plods got in on the act.

ACT Policing is warning Canberra commuters of potential delays and disruptions to traffic on Monday, August 22 as a result of a protest rally. Participants in the ‘Convoy of No Confidence’ protest rally are expected to arrive in Canberra on Sunday, August 21. The formal convoy will commence at 5.30 am on Monday (August 22) morning, taking major arterial routes into the city such as Northbourne Avenue, Adelaide Avenue, Commonwealth Avenue, Tuggeranong Parkway, Gunghalin Drive Extension, Monaro Highway, Barton Highway and Canberra Avenue. The precincts of Mitchell, Bruce, the City and the Parliamentary Triangle will also be affected. Operational Commander for the event, Superintendent Michael Chew, said that planning for the event has progressed well, with cooperation and good dialogue between the organisers, ACT Government and ACT Policing.

 

So on the day in question we took our bus in to work, as per the norm these day. The bus was rather crowded, as people, knowing this huge convoy was about to hit town, thought the bus would be easier to get to work. We’d been listening into the radio for updates, the whole city was prepared.

And nothing happened.

Sod all.

The convoy, which was boasting it would attract anything up to 9000 trucks, ended up being less than 200. The demo outside Parliament, which looked like the biggest collection of useless nutters outside of the US “Tea Party”, was hardly big enough to be noticed over and above the usual amount of visitors to the big house.

Seeing as these people were claiming to stand up for the small rural person, and be composed of “Real Australians” (what am I, minced beef? I’m a real Aussie these days, got a cert to prove it!) their claims to be fighting for their rural livelihoods and businesses, struck me as somewhat ill planned . With the logistical and planning skills they demonstrated, it’s a wonder any of them had any business to go home to. I’ve seen better organised things staring up from the bottom of ponds.

 

Not only that, but they sure have pissed off a lot of other Aussies;

THEY expected a line of hungry truckies as far as the eye could see. Kerry Murphy, the owner of the Wallendbeen Hotel, rostered on four extra staff, hired beer glasses, bought extra kegs and purchased enough supplies for 300 bacon and egg rolls. The fishing club and public school in Wallendbeen, a village of 200 near Wagga Wagga, set up large steel drums filled with firewood and spent hundreds on meat and bread rolls in preparation for the 1000 travelling protesters that organisers told them to expect. But the Convoy of No Confidence never came.

The organisers of the mobile protest told the Herald last week that 11 convoys carrying up to 30,000 truck drivers would line the country's roads, travelling several designated routes to Canberra, with an official overnight stop in a country town.

In Wallendbeen, however, only 10 vehicles showed up, Ms Murphy said.

 

You want to know what level of intellect we were dealing with? Cop this bunch of arse from their website, (my Welsh mates will love this!)  I promise this is totally unaltered;

Posted by June Beckett

Julia Gillard was born in Wales so can anybody out there tell me:

a) Does she still have duel citizenship:

b) If not, when did she give up her Welsh citizenship:

c) If she has given up her Welsh passport, has she also totally relinquished her Welsh nationality

http://justgroundsonline.com/forum/topics/federal-politicians-s44-of

“Duel Citizenship? Welsh Passport? Welsh citizenship?  ROTFLMFFAO!!!! Massive amount of fail there love!

And people wonder why we do not take these uneducated bumpkins advice and throw out our government? I’d rather take political advice from the frogs at the bottom of my garden.

 

The other night we went to see Bethy in her college musical. I fucking hate musicals with a passion, but seeing as her ladyship was in it, how could I refuse to go? It was a production of "The Man of Steel", a piss take of Superman stories. It was truly awful, but done tongue in cheek, and needless to say Bethy was wonderful. Here she is in the chorus. (Dark navy dress.)

 

Talking of live events, we're off to see Dylan Moran at the convention Centre next week. I hope he lives up to his usual standard, he's been fucking hilarious each time we've seen him before. We've also got tickets to see Alan Davies in Sydney in November. I'm not really that fussed about him, but Bethy's in love with him, so we have to go.

 

Ok, That's enough bollocks from me, feel free to reply any time you wish to.