Christmas and all that crap…

Well what do we have for you this month, just a load of old horse shite probably, but here goes anyway.

The first thing I must say is a very big “THANK YOU” to all of those who read, and gave such wonderful feedback on Bethy’s story. She was over the moon that people took the time and trouble to read it, and that they had such nice things to say about it.

The other day Bethy’s basketball coach let us know a special training session had been arranged.  It was on the night Bethy usually goes to scouts, but with a bit of transport juggling (mother-in-law=home to Basketball. Glenn=basketball to scouts. Lee-Anne=scouts to mother-in-laws. Mother-in-law=her house to home) she managed to get both in.

Beth dutifully turned up to training, to find two of Canberra Capital’s star players taking the session. As there were odd numbers of girls there that night, Bethy was teamed up with Natalie Hurst for the one-on-one training.  This is the equivalent of turning up to your Thursday evening soccer kick about, and finding you’ve been partnered by David Beckam. As you can imagine Bethy was most happy about this.

We went to watch the Capitals play the following Saturday, and, totally coincidentally, our seats were right next to Nat Hurst’s family’s. Her mother told us; “We have to sit at the back as we make so much noise Nat gets really embarrassed by us.” I could see why, they are loud buggers. Even by my standards.

Been doing the cultural thing a bit, been to see a traveling exhibition n Charles Darwin, at the national museum.  We also went to a photographic display by one of Aus’s top landscape photographers, at the National Library. Both good, but both could have done with more of …everything… really. Richard Green’s photos of Aus’s wild places surely did make me want to get out and snap some shots off. There’s an exhibition of Degas’s stuff on at the national gallery, I must try to get to that.

Bethy’s school results for her end of year report, were very good to say the least. Out of the six subject which were graded she got 4 A’s and 2 B’s, with a note from her SHAPE (phys. ed. and health stuff) teacher that she only missed out on an A by 1.5 %. She also got a commendation, and a certificate off the headmistress,  for her achievements in Japanese.

But Bethy went away yesterday. Her and her father have gone down to Tasmania, where his folks are from, for Xmas and New years. We alternate Bethy’s company each year with him.  She rung us this morning to reassure us she has got up in time to wake her father to catch the ferry. It’s a bit of a bugger of a run from here, 8 hours+ to Melbourne, 9 hours on the ferry, then a further 2 1/2 hours drive at the other end.

The house is a bit sad without her, so Lee-Anne’s been making unnatural demands on me, just to pass the time. The dogs, who normally sleep in Bethy’s room, are now sleeping in ours to keep us company. The hairy fart-arsed twats don’t half keep me awake though.

I’m writing this from work on the day before Xmas eve,  I’ll keep he tales going all the way through Xmas.

We’ve booked  coach tickets, and our night in a Sydney Hotel. These are for the day before our flight to Christchurch (NZ) on the 4 th. Jan, (my 50 th. birthday!)

I was scouting the web for a decent hotel, and Lee-Anne was doing the same. She wanted a place in the hotbed of sin which is the Kings Cross area of Sydney, I wanted one near the airport. Lee-Anne  found what looked like a good deal, I found what looked like an expensive deal. Guess who’s choice we took and booked?

Ok, so I made the mistake of doing a little further net scouting, and came across a few reviews of the cheap hotel in Kings Cross we’d booked; here’s a couple of them…

Stayed on Saturday night – expected a bit of noise as it is Kings Cross!! At check in they offered us EAR PLUGS, not a good sign. Didn’t get much sleep at all because Lady Lux (a nightclub open til 6am) was underneath us and the base THUMPED ALL NIGHT LONG. Unless you sleep like a log – forget it!!

Talk about misleading advertising! It is right in the heart of Kings Cross, but the rest of the advertising is misleading. I booked a suite for AUD$104, but am very sceptical whether I was given the room advertised. The windows could not lock, the cleaning was not done, used towels were not replaced, but just refolded, the tap in the bathroom wobbled all over the place, the room was much smaller than advertised. On the positive side – it did have a fridge, coffee making, double bed, and shower that worked. It may be worth booking a Studio room at less cost, but forget the so-called suites. Formule 1 is far better value and at a cheaper price (AUD$89). I woudn’t go there again.

Oh, just because I thought it would be of interest to people, I e-mailed group of my mates the weather predictions for Canberra over Xmas, I’m a nice chap like that. (My apologies if I forgot you when sending this out, but please read on!)

It read along the lines of;

UPDATED ACT and Canberra Forecast

Issued at 5:20 pm EDT on Tuesday 23 December 2008

A trough of low pressure currently over the region will move into the Tasman Sea tonight with showers and thunderstorms clearing from the local region. Fine weather is expected across the christmas period with warm day time temperatures. The next change in the weather is not expected until later next weekend, when a trough is expected to bring further shower and thunderstorm activity.

Forecast for Wednesday
Fine day with a mix of sun and cloud. Light to moderate easterly winds.

Precis:      Fine, partly cloudy.
City:        Min 13 Max 25
Tuggeranong: Min 13 Max 25

Chance of rainfall:  10%.
Winds on Lake:  Southeast 10/15 km/h.

UV Alert:    8:50 am to 5:20 pm, UV Index predicted to reach 13 [Extreme]
Fire danger: Moderate

Thursday Fine, mostly sunny.               Min 12    Max 29
Friday Fine, mostly sunny.               Min 14    Max 31
Saturday Fine, increasing cloud.           Min 14    Max 33

Well actually, that is the forecast as of today.

But the funny thing was, that THREE people sent me exactly the same reply, identical TO THE LETTER!! Isn’t that amazing? My friends are not really an homogeneous bunch, but three identical replies? (Two words, second word; “off”)

Oh, and two more replies were of a similar nature, except with more intimate detail about what I could do with Canberra’s weather.

It’s now Xmas eve, and I’m sat, thumb up arse, at work, waiting to finish, so I can go home and break my drought. I’ve had a few weeks off the vino in preparation for going to NZ. I’ll have a few glasses (up yours mate) over Xmas, and then back on the wagon until we get out there.

While I’m on the subject of weather, check this local news report out!

According to the Bureau of Meteorology, it is extremely rare to capture such a good image of a local tornado, even though up to 100 of them happen in NSW every year. Mostly they pass unnoticed through the region’s sparsely populated bush, causing little or no damage.

Lee-Anne just rang me.

We’ve been getting by with a collection of “odds and sods” glasses for wine as long as I’ve been here, you know what it’s like.

You buy a set , and drop one while unwrapping them. Then you leave one behind at a BBQ. Then one gets cracked while doing the washing up. So you’re left with two, which somehow, mysteriously, becomes one overnight. So you buy a new set, which has to look nothing like the old set by law. You repeat this for many years, until your glass shelf in the cupboard looks like Oxfam’s sale rack.

We  had decided to get some decent ones, a set even. We (ok, I)  specified decent sized ones to help the wine to breath once poured. (Shut it!)

So as I said, Lee-Anne just rang;

“I’ve got us a set of wine goblets, nice big ones. They were reduced, half price!! They hold half a bottle each!”

This from a woman who, given three pub sized glasses of wine, starts dancing on the table. I’ll go and get some civilised sized ones later I think.

Lee-Anne has a cousin whose wife, to put it bluntly, is a bit of a “modern parent’. You must know the type, feeds her kids organic lentil and muesli bake with fair trade  garlic sauce on it. Knits her own celtic dreamcatchers, and doses the family up on homeopathetic Chinese feng shui remedies, even when the fuckers ‘aint ill. The sort that has  a “Save the gay disabled single-parent aboriginal whale” sticker on the back of their 4X4.

Normally Lee-Anne sends her kids something noisy for Xmas, this year they’re getting one of these;

Oh and we’ve made sure there’s batteries already in it, and we’ve filled it with blue  sweets with extra tartrazine in them.

Remember we went to see Bill Bailey not so long back? We’ve just got tickets to see Dylan Moran, here in Canberra, next April. When Bethy opens her Xmas card from me she’s going to have a hell of a shock to find her ticket receipt in there, she doesn’t know about him coming here  yet. (Sssssh! Say nothing) She’s a big “Black Books” fan. Who with any taste isn’t?

Here’s a elfing of us, enjoy! (Only valid until Jan 15 09)

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Xmas, midday now.

Lee-Anne awoke me by dropping a Xmas present on my face. Not what your dirty minds was expecting, in fact it was a couple of T-shirts (one of which reads “Let’s pretend I give a shit and leave it at that”. Ideal for work for me then.) So not heavy enough to do any permanent damage. Our breakfast of “Buck’s Fizz” and croissants went down a treat. Following that, we walked the dogs (and the mother-in-law) over Mt Painter, to work off the excess.

I’ve made our starter, a light spinach soup, and Lee-Anne is busy in the Kitchen working on her usual masterpiece for lunch. We’re having fake chicken en-croute (made with a with a stuffing of morels, Cheshire cheese and walnuts,) with roast veges and brocollini, and white wine and mushroom sauce. She’s a fucking genius that girl!

So far I’ve walked down to our local store three times to get things we’d forgotten were needed/essential to make Xmas lunch, the dogs love me for it. Nick our friendly grocer had the English spinach, and blood orange juice, we’d forgotten, and so earns our undying respect once more.

I’m sipping on a chilled chardonnay, and the temperature outside is in the mid 20’s.

Very nice day indeed so far, I hope all of you have an equally pleasant Xmas day.

Boxing day: Oooh me fucking head…

What happened was this. We had lunch, and it was glorious, even if we didn’t get as far as the desert. We washed it down with two bottles of that very expensive wine we had mistakenly bought. It was well worth the price, though I won’t be buying much more of it. We opened our presents, and all very nice they were too. One of my many lovely presents from Lee-Anne  is a voucher for an hours foot massage at a Thai massage parlour, (I wonder if they do “extra’s”.)

The mother in law departed soon after lunch, and we just chilled and read. Then Lee-Anne went for a lie down, too  full of wine and grub to stay awake. And as I was too, I had a snooze on the sofa.

I woke with the dogs badgering me for a walk, no getting out of it I suppose, unless I want crap all over the carpet. So I got my self up and about. As I was leaving the house the people opposite shouted me over to say happy Xmas. They’re a great bunch of folk, so I chewed the fat with them for a short while, and then walked the mutts. When I got back Lee-Anne was still asleep. Xmas night on me Tod then?

Nah bugger it! I grabbed a large glass of wine and strolled across the road again. The people opposite were still out on the front lawn chatting, they had chairs and a table of snacks out and it was a rather lovely warm evening, and so I joined them. We carried on chatting, all night it seemed, and they kept filling my glass with wine. I was soon adopted as a family member, and we were still chatting when I realised that it  had long gone midnight and I best go home. Thanking them profusely for allowing me into their family circle, I weaved my way back over the road. This took some time and produced some good bruises.

I got home severely inebriated, and rang a few people in the UK, though what the hell I said them is anyone’s guess. They all seemed very happy though.  Lee-Anne got up, probably due to the sound of me yelling obscenities down the phone at people, and so we sat and watched a strange German “Star Trek” parody, which was bizarre beyond belief, we also did some damage to to boxes of Pringles.

A nice way to round off the evening.

Not nice was waking up on today (boxing day morning) with a head full of cement and pain, a gut that was distended and sour with wine, and to find my feet covered in mozzie bites.

So it’s Boxing Day, the sales are in full swing, it’s a beautifully warm day with nary a cloud in the sky, I’m off work and we have no commitments. Good I’ll sit on the sofa and watch the boxing day test match then.

Oh, the people opposite have invited us over for New Years Eve, that should be a hoot!

Boxing day redux;

Walk the dogs/eat/watch the cricket/eat/walk the dogs/watch a movie/eat/bed.

Result!!

Dec 28 th.

Horrible start to the day today. Remember I said the dogs are sleeping in the bedroom with us? Well at 5.30 am this morning Barnum settled at my side of the bed and dropped what is without doubt the worse smelling fart I have ever had the horror of smelling. It woke me up it was so bad. It was so bad it got me out of bed. My boot got him out of the room.  As we’ve been getting up at this time go to the gym of a morning it was a bugger of a job getting back to sleep after I’d kicked him out.

Jesus though it was rancid, I honestly thought he was dying.

We went to see the Degas exhibition today, and very good it was too. He certainly had a way with light, and I didn’t know he was a sculptor and photographer too. In fact the most impressive of his works we saw was not the ballerina paintings he’s renowned for, but his ballerina sculptures. We’ll be going back to see it again when Bethy’s back with us.

Funnily enough we bumped into my good friend Gary at the exhibition. He’s been on leave for a couple of weeks, and I’ll be gone to NZ by the time he returns, so it was good to catch up with the old bugger.

Those of you who have been over here and stayed with us will remember, I hope, the National gallery. Well in that ball like sculpture, which hangs suspended outside the gallery, a magpie has set up nest. Not only has it set up a nest, but it’s got two chicks in it. My hoot of the day was seeing that!

We also took a stroll over to the newly opened National Portrait Gallery. Some excellent works there, and as good exhibition of “Portraits in the landscape” which was quite inspirational to your favourite landscape artist. (That’s me you twat.) There were also some naff ones, and as is usual in the arty-farty world these days, some childish ones. The oddest one for me was this portrait of Glenn McGrath, a man I much admire, it was very well done. It just didn’t look like him. At all.

29 th Dec:

Back at work today. Nuff said.

1 st Jan 2009

New year has come and gone. I’ll tell you about it next month, it was all rather amusing actually.

In four days time I hit fifty. In three days time we fly to New Zeland for a few weeks. Swings and roundabouts then.

Does anyone read this far?

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