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16/11/15 (Blowing a gale, heavy rain.)
Leaving Chas and Babs, with promises of catching up again on our return to Llanelli, we drove down to Sennen, stopping only for a Pasty at Exeter services.
Tell a lie, we stopped off at Sainsburys in Penzance and got our groceries in.
Trinity Cottages were to be our home for the next two weeks, and I knew that Lee-Anne was going to need grease and a crowbar to get me to leave them.
In our bedroom we found we had a pet butterfly. This stayed with us the whole fortnight, helped by Lee-Anne feeding it sugar water. It was still there when we left, as was the sugar water.
We decided on a quiet night in, then Storm Barney arrived.
17/11/15 (Storm.)
The bed was a bit too small, but, other than that, everything was perfect. Waking up to the sight of Longships lighthouse through our bedroom window would have been amazing, but I couldn’t see it through the rain.
We went into Sennen Farmers market, what a wonderful place. Lee-Anne bought a couple of meat patties, which she declared “wonderful” and I bought some homity pies which were nearly as good as Nicol’s. (Hint Nicol, add spinach.) We bought some nommy bread too.
We went into Penzance. I was fed up with bleeding down my nose from wearing broken specs, so decided to try and get a new pair. Specsavers told me it would take three weeks before they could deliver, which wasn’t much good. I was disheartened as I couldn’t imagine anyone being quicker than the UK’s biggest optician, but tried Boots Opticians in any case. “We can turn them around in a week.” Nice one Boots, I made an appointment for the next day.
While Lee-Anne was doing some lady shopping, I was leaning on a wall overlooking Mounts Bay, just idly being whimsical. An old boy, he must have been at least in his late seventies, stood looking out over the same view. Then his mate, I presumed, a bloke of a similar age, pulled up next to him. They looked at me, checked me out, thought me a safe bet, and then proceeded to do a 10 quid dope deal. The old boy winked at me as he walked off. I was in damn stiches. Should have asked them for a score for myself.
We drove around to find somewhere selling logs, Sainsburys had some, we bought some begrudgingly, as they were damn expensive. Then we found a place selling cheap logs. Getting back, and while Lee-Anne has a dose of Kyle, I walked down to Sennen Watch in a howling gale. I did this a lot over the next fortnight, it’s something I never have, and never will, tire of.
We took Howard and Janet out for a beer and a meal that night, as, as it turned out, it was Howard’s sixty ninth birthday that very day. He’s doing well on it, doesn’t look a day over sixty eight.
We ended up at the First and Last Inn, my old local. I had fish and chips.
Now, sad tale to relate, the corporate whore fucktards that own the First and Last have been waging a battle of attrition on the locals. First they removed the pool table, then the darts board, then the bar stools, then what we thought was the final straw, they removed the smoker’s shed. Why get rid of the locals? Well if you own a pub where you can make more money out selling cheap shoddy meals to families of fat shell-suited oafs from Birmingham who are on coach trips to Land’s End than you can out of the residents of the village the pub is in, why would you want to make it all amenable and welcoming to Joe Local?
We found out later that they had an ace up their sleeve, making the removal of the darts board seem like a minor irritant by comparison. At the end of our stay there, only then we found out that they were sacking Daphne, the only bar manager to have made a success of the place since the Snash’s stopped running it! Maybe it was because Daphne had made it popular with the locals?
I’d like to take this opportunity to say to the owners, “Heritage Great Britain”, you are the biggest bunch of shitheads on the planet.
18/11/15 (intermittent showers, strong winds, storms later)
The next morning we took Howard into Penzance, just to air the old bugger out. I went and got my eyes tested, they found some “white spots” on my retina, cause by the high UV in Aus apparently. (Not that I needed another excuse to leave here.) They recommended I got a pair of sunnies to wear when out in bright sunlight. So I ordered two pairs, a nifty hipster pair for everyday wear, and a pair of supercool shades. Lee-Anne said I’d look a right twat wearing them. No change there then.
Rounding up Howard, not without difficulty, we took him back to Sennen. At their house, and in her workshop, Janet was having a sale of jewellery and paintings and art stuff. I bumped into a few old friends there, and chewed the fat with my ex-next-door neighbour Sara for a while.
The rest of the afternoon and evening we spent chilling out and watching the storm outside.
19/11/15 (Gale force winds)
Getting up late, we took a stroll through Trevilley, (Lee-Anne stopped me from going to have a nose at our house,) and then onto Nanjizal. This is my favourite walk on the planet, though the weather played a dual role on this walk, it made it more scenic and dramatic with one of the biggest seas I’ve ever seen running there, but also made it bloody impossible to get a good photo of the scene. Bollocks, swings and roundabouts.
We continued the loop through the Lands End shithole, and down to the cove. We stopped in at The Old Success for food (and beers,) and found they had free wifi. Great!! The Trinity cottage had wifi, but the lines had come down in the gales so we were bereft of contact with Aus. We updated Bethy on our progress, caught up on emails, paid a few bills, and generally got back in touch with the world. Great grub there! I had fish and chips.
20/11/15 (strong winds, driving rain.)
We went back to Penzance, as Lee-Anne, having seen the price of my specs, (buy one pair, get another pair half price,) decided that she should get new specs too. She managed to book an appointment for the next week, they assured her they’d have the specs delivered to their Plymouth Branch, as we’d be back in Devon by the time they were ready.
We grabbed a couple of Aunty May’s pasties, and very good they were.
In the afternoon we hit Bottalack mines for a stomp. Beautifully scenic, actually designated “World Heritage Site,” and we were lucky to get enough late light for a photo or two.
We HAD to go see this place, as Bethy is a big fan of the recent Poldark series which was filmed in the area.
That night we teamed up with Howard and Janet at a quiz being held to raise funds for the village hall roof, (you can chip in here if you like.) This was being held in the hall itself, scene of my many thespian triumphs, and where I played the Dame par excellence.
It was so good to see so many old friends there, but it made me so homesick. Funny that isn’t it, feeling homesick for somewhere you actually are? I mentioned this on facebook, and several ex-pat mates confirmed they too get that feeling when back in Blighty. Anyway the quiz was a hoot, the wine flowed, and Cornish cheeses were eaten.
A damn fine night out, and it raised a fair few quid for the roof restoration fund.
21/11/15 (Cloudy with showers.)
We called into see Howard and Janet the next day, as they’d promised to come for a walk with us. Unfortunately they were rather disabled, having been lured into the pub following the quiz. So we borrowed Maris their dog, and took her instead. We gave her a good run, and it was great to see that she was comfortable with us.
Following this we took a trip over to Bosigran, for some photography and nostalgia.
Bosigran is an amazing rock climbing venue, having all the drama of a crag directly over the sea, but with non-tidal access.
We got some reasonable shots as there was a bit of sun about. Got some nice shots of the rain and a rainbow over the sea.
Then we got soaked, so we went home.
Leaving Lee-Anne to Kyle, I took a walk to Sennen watch, as I hadn’t been there for days. On the way there I was surprised to see a bear. Though this turned out just to be a kid in a bear costume who was being (over) indulged by her parents, and who had been allowed to wear her new bear costume despite it hammering down with rain. She was soaked through, and the costume must have weighed a ton by that point.
We went down the Old Success again that night for more free wifi. I didn’t have fish and chips though. For a change I had “trio of Cornish fish with Cornish new potatoes”, just to add variety to my diet.
22/11/15 (squally showers)
We decided to go somewhere new, I’d not done “Watch Croft” before and quite fancied it, as it gave views all across West Penwith. We borrowed a 1:25000 scale map from the cottage, and I promptly lost it. Never mind, we found Watch Croft and then got lost.
The great thing about getting lost was that we found some really interesting places, ones which we wouldn’t have bothered with if we weren’t lost. We were even lucky enough to find a cave just before it pissed down.
More by luck than by planning, we also found “Men Scryfa” and “Men an Tol”, which we’d seen before but are well worth a visit.
We were so hungry after this stomp we bought, and ate, two pasties each from Warren’s in St. Just.
That evening I did the Trevilley – Lands End loop again, on my own, out of sheer perversity.
Then we had a quiet night in.
23/11/15 (Sunshine and showers)
Bugger me, the sun came out!!
We took a stroll to see the Logan Stone at Treen. I took some snaps looking over to the Minack Theatre and Porthcurno.
I did the scramble over to see the Logan Stone, Lee-Anne declined.
We decided to do a circular walk, taking in the lovely hamlet of Penberth.
Just after leaving Penberth we got hideously lost in a sea of muddy fields. Spotting the road, just through a thicket, we decided to push through this it and save time. This proved impossible, and just to add injury to insult, Lee-Anne fell flat on her face in a bunch of stinging nettles. As, for the first time on this holiday, she was only wearing a t-shirt, this left her looking like she had leprosy.
So, our first sunny day, we spend it getting lost, covered in mud, stung by nettles, way, way way, away from where we wanted to be (in the pub,) and heartily pissed off. Three hours after setting off we made it back to the car.
I left Lee-Anne at home with Kyle and a tube of savlon, and drove over to Cape Cornwall.
An amazing place, steeped in history, and with great views to Sennen. Or at least there would be great views if it wasn’t constantly pissing down. There’s a house on Cape Cornwall that I’ve decided to buy, and where I will spend the rest of my days just taking in the views of the sea and Sennen, writing poetry about mystical bollocks, walking my dogs to and from in the rain, and just generally being the old hippy arsehole I was destined to be. (Or at least I will buy it, etc, if my lottery numbers come up.)
Sometime in the afternoon, Jamesy rang me to tell me about the parking situation in St Ives, which was nice of him. I spent the evening backing up my photos at Howard and Janet’s, thanks for that you two.
24/11/15 (Cloudy and windy)
We went into Penzance, and Lee-Anne got her eyes tested. While she was being tested I caught up with my old mate Kelvin, and went for a coffee and chat with him. I was back at the opticians just in time to hep Lee-Anne choose frames. The optician said I had excellent taste in specs, Lee-Anne (eventually) agreed.
Getting back to Sennen we found Matt waiting for us on the beach, a hideous sight, but there you go. We took him to the farmers market, and bought him something big enough to shut his gob. Feeling like a stomp, me and Matt did the Cape Cornwall to Old Success walk, some seven miles along the coast path. It was a wild day, but all the better for that.
Half way back we came across a sign; “Dangerous cliff erosion, diversion”. This pointed us miles inland. Matt said; “Nah, come on, as long as we keep away from the edge we’ll be fine.” So we pushed on. Not long later we found ourselves on a steep bank, and very, very, close to the cliff edge. The cliffs around here are some 200 foot high, and riddled with old mine adits.
We were some two foot from the edge of the cliff face at this point, and looking across to the other side of the zawn. I pointed out the great gaping cave below the cliff edge opposite; “If you were stood on that edge, you’d have nothing but grass and dirt supporting you and nothing but daisy roots stopping you plummeting down to that boulder beach 250 foot below, and you’d not know it, would you? Death for certain” Matt replied; “I bet if there was someone on the other side all they’d be thinking now is; “Look at those two idiots stood on nothing but grass and dirt that’s hanging above that boulder beach 250 foot below.”
At which point we both shat it. We fell flat on our faces, and swam up through the gorse and heather on the steep bank above, like beached salmon.
We both needed several pints in the Old Success to calm down after that, so we decided to eat down there, and took the opportunity to catch up with Jamesy and Rachel who had just arrived.
I had fish and chips for a change.
We left Matt on his own that night, and went to meet with Tye and Elle who are our tenants, and their little baby India. We took some small gifts for India who is only months old, just before handing them over we noticed the labels stating “suitable for children 3 years or older only”. She can save them for a few years then. Tye and Elle proved to be as lovely in real life as they are online, and they are now mates rather than just tenants, which is great. The old place looked a lot bigger with the way Tye and Elle have laid it out, and really nice and cosy at the same time.
That night Matt was on the blower to Helen, his saintly wife, and he told her that we were going fine dining the next night, she said, and I quote; “Why don’t you go with them, call it an early Xmas present.” We rang the restaurant, unfortunately they could fit him in.
The next day in my diary reads;
Talk shit all day.
Take photos of it
Copy/paste shit onto computer.
Send to every fucking person on the planet
No prizes for guessing who wrote that.
25/11/15 (Rainy periods, windy)
We rushed into Penzance and did a stack of grocery shopping as we were playing host that evening. We rushed back to Sennen as we’d agreed to go for a walk with Jamesy and Rachel in the afternoon. I phoned them; “Oh, we’re in the pub. We had a walk on the beach and now we’re having our lunch at the pub.”
So Matt and I did the Nanjizal –Lands End loop, though the weather remained a photographer’s nightmare. We stopped off at the Land’s End hotel for a beer. I’ll happily admit here that it was really lovely to sit down and, over a couple of beers , to just chew the fat with Matt over our past history and future plans.
That evening we played host to Jamesy, Matt, Rob, Howard, Janet, Linda and Rachel. As fine a group of people as you could want to get roaring pissed with, and to argue the toss over the state of the world. Jamesy and Matt spent half the night comparing cock sizes.
“Mine’s this big.”
I get quiet teary eyed just thinking of how rare these get togethers are.
26/11/15 (Mild and cloudy)
Jamesy, Rachel, Howard, Janet, Matt and ourselves did a walk around the Logan Rock area. Matt was entranced by Janet’s ability to find Neolithic flint tools, (arrowheads and scrapers,) and her general knowledge of the history of the area. On the walk Janet took this photo, which remains my favourite of the whole trip, sums it all up really.
Love is….
We almost timed the walk right, getting back to the pub, the “Logan Rock at Treen” just 4 minutes too late to order food there.
Just by the by here. On the pub wall, now didn’t get me wrong, this is a seriously nice pub, was a poster asking for sponsorship. The poster, of a young woman of some twenty years old, was asking sponsors for her to do “A day’s hunt riding without a saddle” to raise funds for the local hunt kennels. There is so much wrong in that I don’t know where to start. I didn’t rip it up. I was tempted, but Lee-Anne was with me.
We had a pint, or two, and then all went over to St Just for yet another Warren’s pasty.
In Warren’s they were cashing in on the Xmas season.
That evening, but I get ahead of myself, remember this?
Seeing as I’ve never been out with Jamesy for a proper meal, (not since our “youth club” days,) I thought it may be a nice idea to invite him and Rachel along when we go to “Restaurant Nahan Outlaw”, which is to be our only “fine dining” this trip. Restaurant Nathan Outlaw requested a month’s notice in booking, so I stared the ball rolling with ten week to go. Do you think I can get a straight “yay” or “nay” out of the fucker? First it was; “I’ll have to ask Rachel.” (That goes without saying.) Then it was; “Oh I forgot, we’re not sure, we’ll have a think about it.” Then it was; “Oh we can’t commit to which week we’ll be down to Sennen, as we’re off to Cadiz for a fortnight this weekend. I’ll let you know when we get back.” Then he came up with the excuse of the century; “I’ve been made bat conservation officer for Carmarthenshire, so I may have to attend a bat conservation forum on those dates.” Christ on a pogo-stick Jamesy, I’m asking if you fancy a meal out, not to solve a theorem from Euclid. So as of the writing of this, I still don’t know if the soft git is even coming to Sennen, leave alone if he’s treating us to a meal out!
In Llanelli we had been told by someone who knows Jamesy well, the actual reason behind his dithering; “The reason he won’t go is that he’s too fucking tight to pay that sort of money for a meal, and he’s too embarrassed to tell you.”
So we went with Abbot instead. The GPS led us a merry dance around Cornwall, before we got there, and I was crapping it that we’d be late, as they do staggered sitting times there. What made it worse was that Matt was following me in his car, and was building up a fine collection of my bollocking things up to use on future dates.
To be fair Matt had made a big effort, and was even wearing his best t-shirt, (and it had been washed.)
I’ve got to say from the outset that at “Restaurant Nathan Outlaw” we had the best fine dining experience we have had, since eating at the “Fat Duck”. This despite Matt being with us. We were met at the door by the big man himself.
By Christ he’s a big bloke, Lee-Anne wondered afterwards; “How come such a big guy can do such delicate food?” He’s lovely chap, he was dead interested in how come he had two Aussies and a Neanderthal dining together at his place. (I don’t know if this meet and greet was something he does for all guests.)
All the staff and servers were first rate, relaxed, unfussing, and very obliging. The food was superb, absolutely mind blowing, prepared with precision, perfectly cooked, and delicate.
Menu:
Cured Brill, Celery, Watercress and Apple
Kung Fu Girl Riesling 2014, Charles Smith, Washington State, USA
Cured Monkfish, Ginger, Fennel and Spring Onions
Lumière Pétillant 2013, Lumière, Yamanashi, Japan
~~~
Smoked Mackerel, Onion, Preserved Herring, Parsnip and Chilli
Grüner Veltliner 2014, Yealands Estate, Marlborough, New Zealand
~~~
Turbot, Winter Vegetables and Green Dressing
Moment of Silence 2013, Bottle winery, Wellington, South Africa
~~~
Gurnard, Hispi Cabbage and Porthilly Sauce
Pinot Noir 2013, Goettweiger Berg, Stift Goettweig, Kremstal, Austria
~~~
Ragstone Goat’s Cheese, Beetroot and Pine Nuts
Banyuls Reserva NV, Domaine La Tour Vieille, Roussillon, France
~~~
Mandarin, Brandy and Tarragon
Spiced Quince and Hazelnut Tart
Ice Cuvée Classic NV, Peller Family Estates, Niagara, Canada
Sauternes 2010, Cuvée Aletheia, Roussett-Peyraguey, Bordeaux, France
Tasting Menu Ninety Nine Pounds
Matching Wine Flight Seventy Two Pounds
The serves neither too big nor too small, we all felt sated at the end of the meal. Plating was beautiful. However Lee-Anne found the crockery too rustic for her tastes.
The accompanying wines, chosen by the sommelier, (it was worth the price of the wines just to hear his expertise,) were beautifully complimentary. I thought Matt was falling in love with him. Lee-Anne and Matt had the matched wines, I only had three courses matched as I was designated driver. The setting was perfect, the seating extremely comfortable.
I could rabbit on and on, but will stop now, and just say that you should just go and see for yourself, you’ll not regret it (unless you don’t like seafood!)
We sat down at exactly 7.00 pm, and were not out of the place until 10.40 pm. We said our goodbyes to Matt, he was kipping in Nathan Outlaw’s car park in his car overnight, before heading straight off to Sheffield in the early morning.
27/11/15 (Pissing down.)
We called into Penzance to collect my new specs, I look dead cool in them, we’ll at least I think I do. We bumped into our powerlifter mate Julian Jeffery (MBE), who was guest of honour at our wedding, lovely to see the big guy again. We also caught up with the girl who looks after our property for us, Fleur, and sorted out some minor issues over bills with her.
We got back and rung Jamesy and Rachel to see if they were ready to do the walk we’d agreed on; “We’re in the pub.” Lee-Anne and I went off for a walk.
That night Howard and Janet, Jamesy and Rachel, and us, we went to the First and Last. I’d insisted on this as Friday was traditionally the night which all the locals got together there. It was totally fucking empty, so sad. Eventually we got a table full of people together, we were joined by Martin the bus driver and Tye, and occasionally by Alan Rowe, and Dell Boy, who spoke Cornish at us.
28/11/15 (Storms and Torrential rain.)
Me and Lee-Anne did the Nanjizal – Land’s End loop as a valedictory walk, we took Maris with us.
Such a shame that we would not be doing this again for a couple of years. On the plus side, while looking around his the farm yard for a letterbox, we were caught by our mate Aiden, so we were able to give him his Xmas card personally. “We don’t have a letterbox,” he explained. Also, lo and behold, up at the other farm, we caught Graham, so gave him his card, and had a good bitching session on how fucked up the situation at the First and Last was.
Nearing home the weather had a last laugh at us, it blew up a gale, and howled down with rain. The small waterfall near Maen castle had gone into reverse and was blowing up the cliff. Shame I couldn’t get a snap of it.
We had lunch at the Old Success, and used their wifi. I had fish and chips.
That night Jamesy and Rachel played hosts.
Somehow, for a huge technophobe, Jamesy had found a recipe for “Authentic Chinese Chip ship curry” My god it was a revelation, it was superb, a nostalgia trip on a plate, though we should have had it half rice/ half chips. I’m still after him for the recipe. It was a great way to end the holiday, and to say goodbye to Howard and Janet.
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