It’s not as far as you may think.

 

I had some holiday due, starting on my birthday, and there was something I’d wanted to do for a very long time, which was to visit Llanelly.

 My wife, being a kind and lovely woman, agreed to my madcap plan, as long as she could have a say in other matters pertaining to the trip, like accommodation and such, (to prevent me booking us into the grottiest places on the planet as; “it’s cheap,” as is my wont,) so we agreed. We managed to borrow the mother-in-law’s car for the trip as it has essential items, like air conditioning, a working engine, tires with tread on them and the like, and wasn’t as likely to blow up four miles down the road as our two old bangers were. The mother in law also agreed to look after our two mutts for us, for which we were extremely grateful.

 So on Thursday the fourth of Jan 2007, with a car full of clothes and equipment, we set off.

 Heading down the Hume Highway, the first thing that caught my eye, some 50 kilometres out of Canberra, was a huge sign inviting me to “Experience Jugiong!” This sounded rather exotic, and I wondered what “Jugiong” involved, some form of oriental massage perhaps? I was rather disappointed when my wife informed me it was no more than a big lake you could water-ski on, ah well.

 A few hours down the road we came to the famous, well famous in these parts, “Dog on the Tuckerbox”. This rather charming little roadside pull-in celebrates a famous (qualified as above) poem about a dog who sat on his masters’ tuckerbox, five miles from Gundagai. Debate rages to this day on whether the dog merely sat on his masters’ lunchbox, or in fact did something similar sounding, but a lot less appetising, on it. In any case they erected a statue to mark the event, and so many people came to see it that they set up a café here. Unfortunately the café is now out of business due to a big chain fast food outlet, (one with a Scottish sounding name,) opening up just down the road.

 Onwards we went, passing the submarine HMAS Otway, a life size submarine reconstructed in the town of Holbrooke, which is 400 kilometres from the sea. I don’t know why they did it, but it’s certainly an arresting, if odd, sight.

 An hour or so down the road we came to the first of the “Fruit-fly Exclusion Zone” signs, though how they teach the flies to read the signs I’ve yet to determine. Next we passed through Mooroopna, which proudly calls itself “fruit salad city.”

 By this time I was seriously doubting the level of sanity in Australia, but, as my wife is an Aussie, I didn’t voice this opinion. Just to raise my eyebrows a little further, we stopped for lunch at “The Big Ned Kelly”.

  Oz has a tradition of erecting “Big Things” and this was one of them. There’s also the “Big Marino” “Big Prawn” the “Big Banana” and loads of others. The 6 metre high statue of Ned brought my total of “Big Things” seen to, ermmm…. three actually. Lots more to find then. Just to celebrate the event we had what must be the worse cup of tea I’ve had in donkeys years at the “Leaky Teapot” café, which was behind Ned. I highly recommend you don’t try the experience.

 At Elmore we entered the Australian Scouts Annual Jambouree. Our daughter was spending a fortnight there, along with 14,000 other scouts. We expected a load of dibbing and dobbing to be going on, along with the traditional “starting a fire using two twigs” etc. But scouting has obvioulsy changed since my day, they didn’t have girl scouts then for a start. But this was all high tech, with climbing walls, light aircraft flights, mudslides and all sorts of adventerous stuff going on constantly.

 They even had the “Rogue Traders” at the opening night concert, coincedentally my kid’s favourite band, so she was well pleased.

 Sadly leaving her behind we drove onto the city of Bendigo, and our full days travelling was over, we’d done some 620 k so far, lots more to come then! 

 We got up early and explored Bendigo. It’s a neat little city built on the wealth from gold mining, this still goes on in these parts. In the city centre there’s a staue erected to the memory of the Cornish miners responsible for digging the gold, but not one for Welsh miners though, how strange. We took a look around the modern, but beautiful, cathederal, took a ride on the trams, then had a trip down a gold mine. The trip down the mine was interesting and informative, and an eye opener as to working conditions in days gone by. However we didn’t find any gold. There was some gold in a seam on view, but it was behind plate glass, and my wife gave me a “look” when I got my screwdriver out, so I left it alone.

 So on we drove, and some forty kilometers down the road we came to ….Llanelly…

 (You didn’t think I was driving all the way home did you?)

 So what can I tell you about Llanelly, Victoria? Not a lot really, there’s not much there, (and don’t call me Victoria!).

  Llanelly is an isolated hamlet of about six houses, none of which could ever be described as a “des res”. It’s between a railway line and a small road (to Rheola believe it or not). The whole hamlet has been bypassed since a new road was built, and seems to have been in decline for years. It has a small shanty of a service station, a village hall that once was a school, a grain silo by the railway line, and a post box, and that’s about it.

 I took photos of as much as I could, which consisted of about six photos, and wandered around the crossroads for a bit, looking bemused. As there was no one around, and no one had been sighted since we arrived, nor any car passed through, I considered knocking on the door of one of the houses and asking if anyone knew how the place got its adopted name. But the houses looked a bit too scary to me, and I couldn’t get the “duelling banjo’s” music out of my head. So we left.

 Well for the rest of the holiday we went climbing in the Grampian mountains, toured the “Great Ocean Road” and saw the “12 apostles” sea stacks, we went to Melbourne and watched the woeful one day match performace by England against Oz at the MCG,  and toured the Lakes and Otway National parks.

 But how could that compare to a trip to Llanelly?