Click on any image for the gallery (larger images.)

 

The bloody odd weather we’ve been having of late continues, (I thought I’d get this out of the way first, I know what weather nerds you all are.) Massive thunderstorms, with very little rain. However, we did get a couple of torrential downpours, and subsequently the place has turned green, (and my lawn is up around my ears again.)

One nice consequence of these pseudo-storms is that  the cloud banks have made for great landscape shots; I particularly love this one.

 

However, this has got to be my favourite shot from this month!

Landscape photography is now a real passion for me, and the source of endless good natured arguments with Mr Kingman. As I said to Charlie; if god didn’t want us to post-process, he wouldn’t have given us photoshop, (and ways of stealing it off the net.)

 

Well the Sydney trip was a hoot. This was to be our first time been away with Brandon. He survived.  Nice to be doing a “two couples” trip with Bethy and Brandon, a bit odd, but nice. Rather than do an “up and back in one evening” run in a hire car, we took the bus up and stayed overnight in a hotel.

This was a more expensive ($$$$) option, but saved me getting knackered and  frazzled for a whole weekend.  We’d booked into a basic but cheap central Sydney hotel, The Park Regis which was Ok, for the money we paid. Nothing outstanding, but nothing too bad either. The room was comfortable, with basic amenities. One of the major plusses of the place was the fine view out of downtown Sydney from our room. Although I watched for some time, I didn’t see anyone mugged, stabbed or shot,which was a little dissapointing.

We had dinner at an Italian place just down the road from our hotel, called Macciato’s.  A good find, though very noisy and hectic. It had pleasant staff, who all seem to be genuinely Italian.

The little Italian girl who served us looked like a tiny version of Sophia Loren, well tasty. But unfortunately, she, like far too many attractive girls these days,  was covered in nasty “Amy Whinehouse” type tattoos. It’s enough to make an old perve like me weep. Ok, it may be rather hypocritical of me to moan about her “lifestyle choice”, (blah! fucking hipster phrase,) as I have a couple of large tattoos. But! I’m not young and attractive, (never was either,) and I had mine done before they got to be trendy. And yes, before you say anything,  I am turning into a grumpy old man, (and I’m enjoying it too!)

But let’s get back to diner;  there was a good, if not novel, selection of meals on offer, bog standard Italian basically, very reasonably priced. Better than your average Italian pizza and pasta joint, though it could do with something novel and trend setting on the menu.  I’d eat there again, but preferably on a quieter night. It was so fucking noisy in there, mainly from the Italian wait staff yelling; “Spagettio Hoopsi! Arivaderchi compende?! Vespa, Bottichelli!!!” and the like at each other. In fact getting out onto the streets of Sydney was a blessing, just to have some quiet for a change. 

As we had an hour to kill before the show, we played “spot the oddball”  to pass the time.

So we went to see the show. This was Alan Davies “Little Victories” tour. As I said last month, I have a bit of a beef with Mr Davies for announcing his Canberra gig two days after I bought Sydney gig tickets, thus quadrupling the expense of seeing his show. One interesting we noted, is that when you follow a comedian over a number of years, his routines age with him. His last  gig was about the trials and tribulations of being a new dad, this one more about his young kids and their ability to “throw a spanner in the works of life“, hence the tour name.  Obviously there was more than just “kids are a fucking pain in the arse”  to it, (though Matt Abbot would have empathised.) But as I say, he’s getting more mature, though fortunately still funny. A great gig.

Lee-Anne phoned her mother, Mary, while we were away, Mary was still in her plastic bovver boot at this point, recovering from her broken leg. She was looking after the dogs for us, and Lee-Anne wanted to make sure they were ok, (ok, and her mother was still alive too.) Mary answered the phone; “Oh it’s you, you caught me just coming out of the shower, I’m stark naked,” followed by, “try not to think about that.”

The next morning we took breakfast at Biai, down at Darling Harbour.

I’m going to type that in again, just because it sounded such a wrong thing for a snotty nosed wanker from Bryn Road, such as me,  to be typing.

“The next morning we took breakfast at Biai, down at Darling Harbour.”

God, honestly, who the hell do I think I am? Hugh fucking Grant? I need to go home and see the lads, just to get a right good slapping about the head for posting that. Just to make me sound more of a wanker, for breakfast I had; “Roasted field mushrooms, on sourdough with persian feta & LA organic olive oil.” I’m crying laughing at this, god alive, what would my mother think? Breakfast; that’s a cup of strong tea and a fag, isn’t it?

Anyway, it was a great breakfast. So we went from there to Chinatown, which really should be called “China Street”, as their aint much more than one street to it. We had a rummage around Paddy’s Market, which was full of shite, interesting shite, but shite none the less.

Me and Brandon found a second hand record shop. Brandon got some late 70’s “two tone”  12′ vinyl LPs,  I got some Blu-Ray DVD’s. There’s something weird going on there isn’t there? I’m supposed to be the old fuddy-duddy, he’s supposed to be the geek. So how come he’s buying classic vinyl, and I’m buying “Layer Cake” and “A Clockwork Orange” on Blu-ray? “Horses for courses” I suppose, whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean. The girls eventually prized us out of there by using threats of bloody mayhem.

Waiting in a “Pie Face” pie shop, we were approached by some street scum wanker, he looked like a cross between Gollum and a sewer rat, but with less charm and humanity. He started barking at Lee-Anne; “Buy me a pie! Buy me a pie!” Lee-Anne, as you would expect, told him in no uncertain terms to fuck off.  In fact “Fuck off!”  was exactly what she said. “You watch yourself lady!! You better watch yourself!!” So, while moving Lee-Anne out of firing range,  I lined him up nicely, “short jab with the left to the chin, swift kick in the knackers with my right foot, and then  the hardest right hook I can throw,” was on the menu for the day,  (I’ve been practicing this combo on my punchbag of late.)

But then he turned to the person behind him and demanded they bought him a pie. They shrugged, played the “We’re Chinese, we don’t understand English,” card, so he told them to fuck off, and walked off into the road.  When he walked off into the road he was narrowly missed by a SUV driver. Unfortunate, as it would have been rather jolly to see him vanish under the wheels of it.

I’ve been thinking about this of late. If he’d have grabbed Lee-Anne, or even moved towards her looking as if to, I’d have smacked him, hard. It’s a good rule of thumb, “hit them first, hit them hard, and keep hitting them until they’re not in a position to hit back.” But then the cops would have been called, I’d have been arrested, charged, and taken to court even. If he had actually touched Lee-Anne I might have got enough mitigating circumstantial evidence to get away with it. What with me being such a fine, upstanding, hard working, mental health professional, (shut it!) who was only defending his wife from a rabid animal and that. But it makes you think doesn’t it? I’d have no moral or ethical doubt about battering the bastard, but the consequences could be devastaing for me.

We saw Billy Bragg as planned. A good gig, nothing too exciting though. His act still consists of 50% music / 50% socialist ranting, spiced with a fair bit of humour. His backing band were competent, but hardly over excited. His recent music has taken a turn for country, a shooting offense in my book, but bearable. However he did do some old faves; “Milkman of human kindness”, “Between the wars”, and of course “New England.”

He also did his last single, “Handyman Blues” which is rather funny, and a sure sign he, like Alan Davies is maturing. (Spot the celebs in the video.) He didn’t remember me from our last encounter at Cambridge Folk  Festival, or if he did he didn’t show it.

 

Well, how did your month of abstinence go Taff?” I can hear no one in particular asking. Bloody good. Not a drop of anything vaguely alcoholic passed my lips, or was passed by me. I had the full four weeks off, and felt all the better for it. The trouble is that since it’s ended I’ve been torn between starting up again, though I have indulged… a bit…and not bothering boozing any more. I’m going to stick with the game plan of having July off next, and see how I go from there.

Now you may be wondering what the fuck Lee-Anne is doing in this image.

“Has she finally lost her marbles, has living with Taff finally driven her totally hatstand?” Well, yes and no. You see she’s had problems with her left ear. She happened to mention this to her mate, Simon, who suffers from Hippy. He pulled out a “Hopi ear candle” and insisted she try it. So, being an open-minded person, and not a total cynic, (i.e. an  arsehole,) like moi, she agreed to. Despite my best efforts; “You know the Hopi tribe have never used them? You know banging your head against the wall would probably be more effective?” she decided to give them a go. The sum result? Well some good did come of it, I got that photo of her looking like she’s got the Olympic Torch sticking out of  her head. Apart from that, sweet sod all difference was made.

This sums it up;

The performance involves laying the victim “patient” on their side, and burning a special hollow candle over their ear canal. The heat is supposed to draw the impurities from the ear out of the canal and onto the base of the candle. When visible residue is seen at the base of the candle after the process the practitioner and wooee assume that wax was removed from the ear canal by some sort of quantum warm air currents. This residue is, of course, simply burnt wax from the candle that has run down the inside. While one might think “it’s harmless and cheap, so who cares?”, the procedure comes with potential downsides – the most obvious is that hot wax from the candle might drip into the ear, burning the victim patient. There are also all the usual hazards associated with playing with fire indoors. There is no need for an alternative method to removing excess cerumen buildups. You can break down cerumen by using oil – commercial ear wax removal oils typically use peanut oil, although any vegetable oil will do the job. If you have a large deposit that isn’t shifting, you can typically have it pumped out in a few minutes by a nurse. You very rarely need surgery for this, and that’s only if they’ve tried pumping it out already. Talk to your doctor. It is also claimed to remove “toxins” from the body by sucking them out with the warm air current. These “toxins” inevitably set off the smoke detector, so if you hear the smoke detector going off during ear candling, you know it’s working!
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Ear_candling

 

We’re still waiting for the new sofa to arrive, though there has been a worrying development since we ordered it. Lee-Anne’s got this idea in her head that we should refurnish the whole place in Art Deco style. This wouldn’t be too bad if we were in the UK, as we could spend happy weekends searching out real art deco bargains. Over here it just means spending lots and arguing.

Apropos of this; I was out visiting an Islander client of ours, who had just moved into his sister’s place. I noticed they had a fine looking Art Deco style rug in the living room. “Oh, if you don’t mind me asking, where did you get the art deco rug from?”  “You what?” She replied; “That rug there, it’s in the Art Deco style, my wife loves that style. Is it your rug or did it come with the house?” Blank look; “You what!? Art Deco?”  Oh balls, why did I start this one? “That rug, it’s done in the style known as Art deco, art deco was a style popular in the 1920’s and 30’as, that’s the classic look of the style.” I continued for some time explaining the whys and whereforetoos of Art  Deco, and eventually she got the drift. “That’s a bit posh then, got a bit of style like?”   She beams at me; “We got it down in Fyshwick, it was only $160.” I got the name of the store and thanked her; then her husband came in, (built like a brick shithouse as most Islander guys are.) “Ere Joshua, do you know we’ve got an Art Deco rug?’” Blank look; “You what?”

I eventually got out of there, alive. I’m sure the whole Islander community in Canberra will soon know that Mayera has an “Art Deco” rug.

Bethy drove four of her mates to the Blue Mountains the other day. It’s a bloody long drive for a new driver, (350 kilometers / 3 ½ hours nonstop,)  and she was the only qualified driver in the bunch. Someone’s relatives had a holiday house there, so they had a girlies weekend.

She took Brandon’s car for the trip. I don’t know what worried Brandon most, Bethy driving that distance, or his car being driven by Bethy that distance.

While Bethy was away, Brandon came home from work one evening and said; “I’ve been asked to go do some contract work by my boss, so I’ll be away for a week or so.“ “Where is it?” asked Lee-Anne  “South Australia”. Ok, so the poor lad, at four hours notice was being told he had to pack up and piss off to do a contract a couple of thousand kilometers away. Big  thrill for a 19 year old. Bethy was a bit upset when she heard he wouldn’t be at home on her return.

Bethy had a great trip, apart from getting lost on the way back while trying to find Jenolan Caves, which turned a four hour journey into an eight hour one.

On the good news front; Bethy got a distinction in her first biology test for her degree. Well done that kid!!

Bethy’s mate Rin-Rin, (yes that’s her actual name,) came back from a trip to Vietnam with some presents for her, dog clothes!! We couldn’t wait to dress them up. Unfortunately they took this so badly that we haven’t had the heart to do it again.

They look ever so cute don’t you think? That’s the problem, Jack Russell are not supposed to do “Cute”, they’re supposed to do this;

Remember the new lens? I’m starting to get the hang of it at last, and the bird and insect photography I bore you all with is coming on a treat, here’s my best so far;

Mind you, my favourite birds are the raptors (hawks and eagles.) Here’ a shot I got of a wedgie on a recent dog walk;

Oh, and here’s a possum bum;

No matter what I threw at him, sticks, rocks, Digby, he wouldn’t turn round, the bastard.

Now then, here’ the most amazing thing from this month! People have... say it quietly for fear of scaring them off…. been saying some nice things about my latest music!!

Aside from the photos, I particularly like the music for the Sennen Watch set. Nice job. Hills All Around has got a bit of Thomas Tallis about it, to my ear, anyway. Was that what you were going for?

The lovely Sue from America. (lawyer and a nice person despite that.)

 

– your compositional sense of drama is spot on, and the registers of your chosen instruments sound realistic (no bass piccolos!) – plus it’s not any of that artschoolrocknroll rubbish, thank the baby Buddah.

Scott from Canada, (Bass player and lunatic graphic artists.)

 

“Hills all around is stunning. That’s just amazing Al, well done. I’d love to hear it with a real flute taking that lead voice.”

Wynn Phillips, (Musician and all round good guy.)

 

So here they are again, in case you missed them last time;