Welcome back my friends, to the bore that never ends..

Very quiet  month this month, but Bethy’s back from Japan, and we’ve had dog troubles. Big dog troubles.

The mother-in-law was duly seen off to her “World Master’s Games”. Which was a relief after all the warring over the hotel she had insisted we book for her. She insisted we book it for her, so that she could  insist it wasn’t the one she wanted. She told me the day before she left that; “I’ve made up my mind to resign myself to it.” (Like I give a toss.) As a consequence of getting her away to Sydney we were left with her car to play with, and her dog to house. I like her dog, she’s called “Meech.” Mary has a habit of giving her dog incredibly stupid names, Meech is as stupid as her name.

The day after Mary left, Bethy was due back from Japan. We had been long anticipating Bethy’s return, god the house was quiet without her, (and clean.)  I was at work that day, unfortunately, so  Lee-Anne collected her when she returned. She did stay up until I got home (I get home at 9.15  pm when I’m on a weekday shift,)  which was good of her,  and was keen to give out her presents. I got an absolutely fantastic kimono, I’ve been swanning around the house in it like Toshiro Mifune ever since. I also got a gold dragon broach and a “lucky bag”, so I was well pleased. Bethy crashed out soon after, and slept for the best part of the weekend. Which was a shame, as she started back school on the Monday.

Bethy didn’t really tell us a great deal about the trip, except that she had a ball, and all the people she stayed with were wonderful. Her pictures certainly do tell of a great time, you can see them here. Those of you who kindly e-mailed us asking if Bethy was ok following her experience of the epicenter of the typhoon which struck the area she was staying, will be relieved to hear, in her own words; “Oh that? I slept through most of it. It was over by the time I woke up. Lots of damage though.”

Here’s Bethy’s highlights from her trip;

Day one:

Leave Australia Fly to japan with a loing wait in Hong Kong. Met host student, Miyu.

Day two:

Sung Karaoke, and had massive barbeque with Matvey and his host student.

Day three:

Went to Ise Shrine, lost my camera at an udon restaurant.

Day four:

Went to school, got freaked out by an Asian chick in my class.

Day five:

Did biology (reproduction), figured everything. Spoke a massive speech in front of the school, and was called cute by some random.

Day Five:

Got called “Rinkan” (Lincoln)  by a SMAP impersonator and then won a fan. Called Josh “White”…lol.

Day Six:

Miyu got swine flu, I met the Mayor, and I tore a ligament… all in the space of two hours…FAIL. Now staying with Teruko.

Day seven:

Last day at school, fell asleep in history had a tea ceremony and my class was sent home because of swine flu.

Day Eight:

Went to Ise shrine…again. Got my foot set on fire. Left school for last time after a party there.

Day nine:

Caught train to Kyoto after an emotional farewell. Saw the golden pavilion, Hiroko sensei’s family shrine, and geisha.

Day Ten:

Visited todaiji temple…Nara  and imperial palace. Went to karaoke …awesome.

Day eleven:

Went to world’s longest suspension bridge, and got to go shopping.

Day twelve:

Went to Osaka with Hiroko sensei’s sister and then got lost in a massive shopping centre in a typhoon.

Day thirteen:

Went to Kyo Mizu temple. Went to airport, and flew to Hong Kong.

Day fourteen;

Got woken up by, Japanese girls in the airport. Caught plane back to Sydney. Met a double transplant operation patient. HOME.

Thanks for the write up Bethy, it’s a lot less boring than my stuff!!

The visit made the local newspapers. Bethy brought back  the papers, and she is in the two photographs. Click here and click here to see the newspapers.

Ok, as most of you know we have two dogs. Millie is a small characterful shitzu cross, Barney is a mutt, mostly red heeler, and as I’ve said above, for a while we had Mary’s staffy Meech staying with us.

All was well until one day Barny starts looking sluggish, stops eating, and looks generally fucked. He’s knocking on a bit now, we’re not sure exactly how old he is as he’s a rescue dog. His muzzle is all gray. He reminds me a bit of Nicol, he used to be ginger once too, and his muzzle is now gray. (As is the rest of him.) Barnum got to the point were we got very concerned, or at least Lee-Anne did. I must admit I was very loath to take him to the vets as I thought that it may turn out to be his last trip out.

But Lee-Anne prevailed, and, dreading the news, we took him to the vets.

We’re very lucky inasmuch as we have a great vet, Rob, who’s surgery is close by.  All the way there I was thinking; “This is it old chum, this could be our last trip out together.” I was trying to keep a brave face, but absolutely shitting it and close to tears.  So we get him to the vets, no dog who’s had his nuts chopped off is ever going to be a big fan of vets, and so I have to drag him in. Rob gets him up on the table, gives him a good feel all over, then shoves a thermometer up his arse, and declares; “He’s constipated.”

Ok, a night out on the Guinness and a good curry, and that’ll sort him out, works for me every time. Nothing so simple where dogs are concerned. Nope, this required a  general aesthetic, and a couple of enemas, followed by a night in the hospital, some antibiotics. Only then was he sorted. And only then did we get a big bill. Fortunately he’s been like a new dog since, absolutely like a puppy again, a new dog. Must have been some whack of shite that got removed, the vet was certainly impressed by the volume.

He doesn’t know he’s been banned from eating bones yet, apparently they were the mainstay of the blockage, and I’m not going to be the one to tell him.

Next day, the very next fucking day, Bethy finds a big lump on Millie’s abdomen. I drive her to the vet thinking; “Oh no, the Big C!” I lost my Akita, Jake, following finding a lump on his belly which turned out to be cancer.  Rob pops her up on the table, prods and pokes, does the magic thermometer up the arse trick, (Millie seems to enjoy that), and declares; “Fat deposit, nothing to worry about, just keep an eye on it.” And so we got another bill.

Then to top off the week, Meech starts getting sluggish, so we take her to the vets. Rob was beginning to give us funny looks, like we are dog abusers or something…

He pops her on the table, does the well rehearsed thermometer up the arse, and; “Cystitis!” She gets antibiotics, we get a bill.

A couple of days later we notice her getting worse and worse, rapidly. “This can’t be right, it’s got to be more than cystitis”.  Then she starts dragging her left hind leg. The next day she cannot run about, and Lee-Anne has to help her get back into the car after her walk. By late Sunday evening she’s so bad that she’s lost all use of her hind legs, she’s flopping about the house like a seal. Shit!!

Now we get VERY concerned. “You ok to drive?” I ask Lee-Anne, (I’d had a beer, I never drive, even if I’ve only had one,) she says she is; “Ok, lets go.” So down to the emergency animal hospital, at 8.00 pm on a Sunday night, we go. Following a series of X-rays (on a Sunday night at 9.00 pm in an emergency vets, work out the costs yourself,) they diagnose a protruding spinal disk, and rapidly give her huge doses of steroids and pain killers, plus an overnight stay. We get a huge bill, a very fucking huge bill.

We collect her the next morning, and take her back to our vet to find out what our options were. We already knew what one of them was going to be. Rob checks her out and is less than happy with her progress. He gives us two choices, the obvious and unthinkable one, and “Well she can have the disk removed, it’s not an uncommon operation in these small purebreds. It should give her the use of her legs back, but there’s no guarantees!”

Remember, Mary is still in Sydney at this point, also worth noting is that stress and Mary are a very volatile mix.

We bite the bullet, Rob books her in for the operation. Being a coward, I volunteer to take her to the hospital the next day for her operation. Lee-Anne gets the job of going to the bus station to collect her mother, her mother who is still on a big high after winning four bronzes at the games, and telling her; “We’ve broken your dog.”

Fortunately for us all the operation went well, and four days later Meech walked out of the vets. Normally she’d be expected to be on a trolley for the next month to get about, but her recovery has been amazing. She’s still not allowed up and down steps, not allowed to get up on the furniture, and not allowed to mix with other dogs for a six weeks.

However, at 2.00 am in the morning one day this week, she was irritating Mary to get out. Mary, who was in her pyjamas at the time, decided to dismantle all the guard stuff I’d put up, (put up to stop Meech getting out into the garden via a  flight of steps,)  and to carry her down the steps so she could piss and shit in the garden for a change. Meech being overly keen to try this experience, pushed past her, fell down the garden steps and; “Seemed to be having a bit of trouble walking for a while.” Dear god, mother in laws.

Meech has got a line of stitches the length of her back, and I’ve taken to calling her “Frankendog.” Which Mary doesn’t appreciate one bit. Though she appreciated the $5000 vets bill even less.

Mary’s friend Dorothy was selling up her flat, and moving into sheltered crumbly housing. She kindly offered Bethy some chests of drawers that she wouldn’t have space for. We went round to pick them up. They weren’t very great, but Lee-Anne had plans for them. Anyway we spent some time chatting with Dot, and I noticed how bad her eyesight now was, and how unsteady on her feet she was, and how badly arthritic her hands now are. So we chatted, and then I slung the chests into the car, and we said our goodbyes.

As we were leaving she was, very slowly and painfully, getting into a car; “Please don’t tell me she’s still driving Lee-Anne.”

She is. My god, I nearly sold my bike at the thought of it!

The drawers were given a coat of gloss black paint, and they now look very “gothic” and are in Bethy’s bedroom.

The other day was Melbourne cup day, so I went down the local bookies to put our small flutter on, just to be part of this Aussie tradition.

The bloody place was heaving, packed to the gills. There were families having days out there, free (non alcoholic) drinks for the taking. A couple of little old boys, obviously earning a few bob from the bookies, were going round  helping people without a clue (like me) to fill in the betting slips. Like a bloody carnival down there. Quite fun actually. We bet on  “Daffodil”  (national flower of Wales!) 17:1 $5.00 each way for me, “Galleon’s reach” 251:1 rank outsider $5.00 each way, for Lee-Anne.

We watched them at Mary’s house; Mary had $5 each way on five different horses.

Not a fucking sausage did we get back.

Short story about how I got the bird feeder  cam all set up and working. After spending weeks, and much pain, working out how I could send images from the far end of the garden, where the bird feeder was to my computer room, and then onto the web, I had finally settled on buying a wireless webcam at great expense and doing all sorts of complex shit to get it rigged. It was only when I had the whole thing planned out, costed and ready to go for it, did Bethy suggest; “Wouldn’t it be easier just to move the birdfeeder thirty foot closer to the house?” Bugger, never thought of that!

Amazing weather of late, a week of thunderstorms which brought some much needed relief to the area, and today it’s forecast to hit 34degrees.

Thanks for reading this far. If any one has that is…